This week I have been low
I have not been able to get out of bed in the morning
I have not been able to speak without pain
I have found eye contact really difficult
I have not been able to wash easily
I have not wanted to eat
I have not wanted to make any simple decisions like what to drink?
I have looked horrible
Worst of all I have hated myself
Hated who I am
Hated what I have done
Hated my world
I have felt so evil, so wicked, so full of dread and fear and so lacking in any wishes for the future
Everything has felt doomed to failure
Everything has felt too difficult
But I have been surrounded by special people
I have been held up by their kindness
I have been held up by their caring
I have been carried
All of a sudden
I felt the full force of my energy returning
Not a trickle
Not a flow
But a GUSH!
The ideas return in force
But I have to hold back and let the GUSH subside!
The question is: Can I restore BALANCE?
Will this ever stop?
I live in hope.
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Heart Reach on the Street,
45a Leicester Road,